La vie avec Gabriel

For Gabriel, everyone is a potential friend

2009-07-08T18:28:00.000-04:00

One thing that fascinates me with children is how they are born with their own personality. Of course, we have a huge role to play as parents in terms of education and character building. But each child is born with their own personality already very apparent, their own likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. At 9 months, Gabriel can already be labeled as an "observer". I can already tell that he inherited his dad's charming and friendly disposition. Not only is he interested in seeing and studying everything and most importantly everyone around him, his very intense gaze and expressive face really make you feel like you are being scrutinized. Every person he sees is a potential friend and so he does his best to get their positive attention. The result is that, at nap time, all the noise made by the vacuum cleaner or the blender have never woken him up. He stays sound asleep. But one ring from the phone (turned to the lowest volume possible), and he's wide awake, anxious to participate in the conversation.

A couple of weeks ago, we were in the entrance hall of a shopping center and I decided to try and breastfeed before leaving, a task that ended up being impossible. Every time he heard the door open, Gabriel would lift up his head, stretch his neck as much as he could, and stare at the new person coming in with pleading eyes. If that person made the mistake of looking at him, his intrigued face turned to the biggest most charming smiley face you have ever seen. Of course a lot of people couldn't help but tell him how cute he is and he already has a fan club in several of our regular hangout spots.

Another example that really describes him well is his behavior at his weekly swimming class with Dad. Whereas every other kid is actively playing in the water, concentrating their attention on the little rubber ducky or whatever other toy they are supposed to try and grab, Gabriel's focus is far from the toys or floating board surrounding him. He grabs on to his dad with his two arms, not because he's afraid of the water, but because that way he can focus his attention on the people walking by the pool and observe their every move. There are lots of people passing by and lots of noises, so it keeps him busy. Unfortunately, that means that he didn't put so much effort in the task at hand, and we recently learned that he would have to repeat the same course next semester... :( Now granted, he was still very young to move on to the next level, but still. Alejo and I couldn't help but feel a bit sad when we learned that he failed "Splash 01". Oh well, at least he enjoys it, so he sure won't mind doing it again!

Here are the pics from June, don't miss the last ones of Gabriel discovering flowers. And the last album from May, with Grand-Papa's birthday and the Tulip festival.
Lys xx

Photo albums

2009-06-10T09:42:00.004-04:00

I may not have written much in the blog in the past two months, but that certainly doesn't mean we did not take any pictures! If you don't have the time to view them all (although I can't possibly imagine what could be more fun than looking at Gabriel's face all day ;), don't miss "Yé dont beau ce bébé là" and "Gabriel découvre le gazon", they're precious.
So here are the links, from the oldest to the newest:

Premier cours de natation avec papa
En avril, ne te découvre pas d'un fil
Yé dont beau ce bébé là!
Natation avec Grand-Maman
Collection variée du mois de mai
Gabriel découvre le gazon
Plaisance

Enjoy!
Lys xx

House searching

2009-06-10T09:41:00.002-04:00

As you can see, we've been pretty busy lately. One of our many activities has been looking at houses, in the hopes of one day moving on up, from our basement condo to a place with more light of day. We're in no hurry really, truth is I would rather wait until a couple of things stabilize, but it doesn't hurt to look. So we have been visiting houses and even made an offer (which was rejected). In the midst of it, every little detail becomes important. We established our needs and priorities. We "need" a big backyard, a nice outdoor space where Gabriel can run and play; we "would like" to have an open kitchen with lots of counter space, where our little family can gather, spend time together and chat while preparing nice meals; we "prefer" a place where the laundry room is not in the basement and where there are not so many stairs; we "wish" we could have lots of closets to store everything and have lots of space to run around,...

So the search can become overwhelming and it's easy to become obsessive. But then we have moments of clarity in which we look at our place and realize that whatever house we live in will be perfect because it will be ours. We will make it our home. In this house, I feel good, because wherever I look, I see life: food in the fridge, toys on the floor, Gabriel's clothes spread out everywhere, pictures and paintings hanging on the wall, messages on the answering machine. Life feels good here, and it will wherever we are because we will make it so. The walls and furniture surrounding us are insignificant in and of itself, but will serve to provide us support, a roof over our head so we can go on with all our daily activities. They will be silent witnesses to all the nice memories we will continue to form everyday. We do and will continue to have a really good life, regardless of the amount of counter space in our kitchen.

So we will keep on searching, slowly, making sure we don't forget to live everyday to the fullest and knowing down deep that, when the time comes, we will trade these walls for others and fill whatever space they encompass with all the life and energy that our little family has. As long as I can hear my baby laugh, I'll be happy.

Recherche une garderie pour Septembre 2009

2009-03-30T22:14:00.002-04:00

Je savais que trouver une bonne garderie s'avèrerait un défi. Mais il y a des jours ou mon découragement est tel que la carrière de "femme au foyer" commence à me sembler une option plausible et souhaitable. Un des avantages de vivre au Québec pour une nouvelle famille est la possibilité des garderies CPE subventionnées, à 7$ la journée et donc environ 1000$ par année (au lieu d'environ 12 000$ comme en Ontario). Comme l'Outaouais n'a pas encore de liste centralisée, on doit contacter chaque garderie individuellement. Dès mon troisième mois de grossesse, j'ai donc commencé à appeler toutes les garderies avoisinantes pour y laisser notre nom sur la liste d'attente. J'ai reçu des commentaires assez ridicules du genre "nous allons vous mettre sur la liste d'attente, mais il y a 400 personnes devant vous, et chaque année nous n'acceptons en moyenne que 3 nouveaux enfants pour le niveau pouponnière" :S Pour les CPE en milieu familial, les disponibilités sont affichées à la dernière minute sur un babillard électronique que l'on doit réviser chaque jour. Jusqu'à date, j'ai vu des annonces de place pour poupon disponible un grand total de 0 fois.

Résolue à ne pas trouver de place subventionnée, je me suis mise à chercher dans les annonces classées pour trouver une place privée en milieu familial. Ça coûte entre 20-30$ la journée, mais le gouvernement rembourse une partie en crédits d'impôts. J'étais vraiment contente lorsque j'ai trouvé un site web qui m'a donné une liste d'une vingtaine d'annonces de places disponibles dans la région. Puis, j'ai commencé à lire les offres un peu plus en détails. Celle-ci m'a vraiment marquée: "Comprent le diner les jus le lait les collations et aussie je fait des recus dinpot a la fin de lanner.jai deux chats il son dégrifer ."
Sans commentaire. Et la seule que j'ai trouvé dans mon quartier citait comme seules activités: "regarder les films, jeu société, jeux vidéo, écouter la musique". Ouf! Finalement je suis aussi bien de m'acheter un golden retriever, une coupe de diners congelés au micro-ondes (au cas ou le golden manquerait son Kraft diner), pis le tour est joué, je pars travailler la tête tranquille. ;S

J'ai fini par trouver une annonce qui me paraissait bien intéressante. La première conversation téléphonique m'a laissé sceptique, puisqu'après une demi-heure de blabla je n'avais aucune information sur le service de garde et elle ne m'avait même pas demandé quel âge avait mon enfant, mais moi je savais tout sur la visite qu'elle avait eu durant la fin de semaine, son rapport d'impôt, les nombreux matchs de hockey de son garçon de 8 ans, et surtout son mal de gorge persistant qui trainait et l'empêchait d'avaler. Étant désespérée, j'ai quand même décidé de la rencontrer pour une entrevue... Je n'ai même plus le goût de conter tous les détails de cette rencontre. Ce n'est pas qu'elle n'était pas fine la madame, mais des fois ça prend un petit peu plus que ça dans la vie, surtout lorsqu'il faut satisfaire les critères d'une jeune mère anxieuse qui considère laisser son précieux bébé aux soins d'une parfaite inconnue. ;) Parmi les points marquants, figurent le fait que son mari qui devait surveiller l'autre petite de 11 mois durant l'entrevue s'était embarré dehors lorsqu'il était sorti pour fumer une cigarette et la petite était donc seule dans la cuisine durant l'heure et demie ou la madame m'a déblatéré l'histoire parentale de chaque enfant qui ait jamais mis les pieds chez elle, sans me poser une seule question. Sans mentionner que la réponse à "quel genre d'activités faites-vous pendant la journée" fut qu'elle faisait l'école à la maison à son garçon de 8 ans, et donc les autres enfants pourraient s'asseoir autour pour colorier. Disons que je ne sais pas quel genre d'habileté Gabriel aura pour le coloriage à 12 mois, mais je doute fortement que cela maintienne son intérêt durant des heures consécutives chaque jour.

Bref, je ne suis pas plus avancée, et l'idée du Golden reste ma meilleure option. En attendant, je suis vraiment reconnaissante (merci gouvernement) pour chaque jour que je peux passer avec mon bébé, à l'accompagner dans son développement, lui donner les meilleurs soins possibles, et surtout le cajoler avec joie, admiration et amour (ça prenait bien un beau mot positif de la fin!).
Sérieux, on a passé des très bons moments dernièrement, à ne pas manquer ces tous nouveaux albums de photos: Miam, miam les petits pois et La belle vie de Gabriel.

Lys xx

It's all about taste

2009-03-26T11:29:00.005-04:00

March 13th was a very special day for our little family. We celebrated Alejo's birthday, as well as Gabriel's "half-birthday". He turned 0.5 year old. They shared the party, but not the cake, as Gabriel had his first little cake (that we ate "for him") for the occasion. We laughed over the logistics of putting half a candle on it ... Alejo and I celebrated by going out on our first date in the past 6 months, with my Mom generously offering to babysit while Gabriel was sleeping. She was allowed to watch a movie and to invite one friend over, provided we could meet him first ;). We went to a show by Les Cowboys Fringants and had a great time. I do like their music, but under the circomstances I have to admit I would've been excited to go see just about any show (Carmen Campagne, Michel Louvain, Les ptits Simards chantent une annonce de yogourt, n'importe quoi!). We had friends over on Saturday and went to the Sugarbush on Sunday to complete this 3-day celebration (see pictures).

Gabriel also celebrated his 6-months-birthday with his first taste of barley cereal. Much like brown rice cereal (and more recently oatmeal cereal and snowpeas), I can't say that it was love at first "taste". Depending on the day, so far Gabriel has been more or less enthousiastic about eating solid food. Chewing on the empty spoon has been a much bigger hit. As a matter of fact, tasting the curtains, Mommy's shoulder or the books she's reading has had a much greater success so far. He is fascinated by the taste of objects and clothes, with dirty towels and my black nursing tank top being his absolute favorites... Oh well, he'll eat solids when he's ready and I'll be happy to provide an "unlimited supply" of breast milk in the meantime (something that has become harder when there is too much entertainment around, in which case he'll try to get up and take a mental picture of his surroundings between every sip, just to make sure he's not missing anything). In the same theme, making the effort of trying to entertain him with "educational toys" still seems pretty useless, since he's still far more captivated by the labels on the toy than by the actual toy itself and can chew on them endlessly. I guess I'll later miss and recall these days as "the time when he was so easily entertained"!

Ok, back to eating. Have to run to prepare today's menu: sweet potatoes. With a new flavour added every 3 days, meal time never gets boring. See our collections of best pics from Gabriel's 5th month and his first meals in pictures or video.
Take care,

Lys xx

On the road... for the first time

2009-03-11T12:41:00.005-04:00

Et oui, Gabriel a survécu à son premier, mais certainement pas son dernier long voyage... et ses parents aussi. Nous avons fait un aller-retour rapido à Kedgwick pour assister aux funérailles de ma tante Solange. Côté voiture avec Gabriel, il y a eu certains moments un peu plus difficiles, mais bon, après 24 heures d'auto en 3 jours, faudrait pas trop en demander quand même! En gros, il a vraiment bien fait ça. Avec un peu de patience et avec l'aide de sa Grand-Maman, son menoncle Jean-Michel, un dvd portatif acheté en chemin, et des arrêts fréquents, ça a très bien été! Côté voyage, on a appris plusieurs choses, comme ce qu'il est important d'amener, et surtout ce qui est important d'avoir à la portée de la main, et non enterré dans le fond d'une des 2 valises gigantesques empilées dans le fond du coffre de la voiture... Mon coup de coeur pour les nouveaux parents voyageurs: le parc "Baby Bjorn travel playpen". Merveilleux, beaucoup plus léger que les parcs Graco ou autres, se range dans une petite malette et se plie et se déplie en 30 secondes. Bon, c'est comme le double du prix, mais comme on prévoit se promener beaucoup cet été, on a décidé que l'investissement en valait grandement la peine. Ok, ceci conclut la parenthèse de publicité gratuite.
A Kedgwick, nous avons été très bien reçus chez ma tante Gilberte. Gabriel et Alejo ont pu rencontrer la grande majorité de ma famille Drapeau. Des moments comme ça, c'est toujours chargé d'émotions. Comme on ne se voit pas souvent, la tristesse est mise de côté, laissant place aux retrouvailles et à l'accueil des nouveaux venus dans la famille (voir quelques photos ici). Alejo a été accueilli très chaleureusement et a bien aimé son initiation choc à la famille Drapeau. De leur côté, mon père et les autres nouveaux grands-pères se sont naturellement "astinés" à savoir qui a le meilleur petit-enfant, le plus beau, le plus smart, le plus fin, ... A la fin, ils se complimentent tous les uns les autres, sachant très bien chacun que, peu importe ce qu'en pense les autres, le leur est et sera toujours le meilleur. ;)
Ce fut un moment intense chargé de réflexions sur la fragilité de la vie, l'importance d'apprécier chaque moment, les personnes qui nous entourent. Pour moi, ce fut aussi la constatation de mon "changement de génération" dans la famille élargie. Du groupe des enfants, je suis passée au groupe "parents" et mes parents ont par conséquent passé à la catégorie "grand-parents". Bien sûr, loin de les vieillir, la venue de leur premier petit-fils n'a fait que rajeunir les 4 grands-parents de Gabriel. N'empêche que ce sont de grandes étapes de la vie qui valent la peine d'être soulignées pour être mieux appréciées. J'aime bien voir l'immense fierté qui se lit dans les yeux de mes parents quand les gens constatent (à raison bien entendu) à quel point Gabriel a l'air d'un beau bébé, charmant, curieux et heureux. Et les parents d'Alejo avaient déjà fait remarqué que, s'ils avaient su à quel point ils aimeraient être grand-parents, ils auraient laissé faire avoir des enfants et auraient sauté tout de suite à avoir des petits-enfants!

Je tiens à terminer ce message avec une pensée spéciale pour ma tante Solange, à laquelle j'ai beaucoup pensé dernièrement. Une femme forte, courageuse, vaillante et généreuse, de belles qualités très inspirantes pour tous ceux qui ont eu la chance de la connaître. Je me joins à tous les Drapeau pour lui rendre un hommage bien mérité.

Avec Amour,
Lys xx

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

2009-02-14T05:29:00.001-05:00

If there is one thing that every new mom learns it's that as soon as you think you've got it all figured out, everything changes again. I think that's why I never gave any real update to the whole "sleeping" chapter. I was waiting for the perfect story with the perfect ending, the whole "and they lived happily and well rested ever after"... Well, I'm still waiting for it. Don't get me wrong, Gabriel is doing really well. He now goes to bed every night around 7:00 PM, and wakes up on average only once or twice per night, before starting the day between 6:00 or 7:00 AM. He often falls asleep without crying, or after just a couple minutes of protesting. When I look at the big picture, I realize how lucky we are. We really can't complain.

Of course some days are harder and I just can't seem to get him to sleep, or to nap for more than 40 minutes at a time. The scientist in me then tries to analyze the causes, the possible explanations, examining every factor, changing only one thing at a time, what I eat (for breast milk taste), the time of day for naps, the length of previous naps, the soothing routine, etc. And after a month of intense analysis, my expert conclusion is: there is no easy explanation, it's just how a developing baby is. Really easy to say after a refreshing good night sleep, but very hard to remember when I'm in one of those bad moments. I can't even begin to describe the anxiety feeling that still builds up in me when I have to listen to my child crying and calling out for me without doing anything. It has to be the most stressful thing I've done in my life, easily surpassing being robbed at gunpoint and being lost in the jungle. As I already said, the maternal instinct is a very primitive one and denying it creates overwhelming internal turmoil. Gabriel might fall asleep, but his Mom is left with insomnia. After "Healthy sleep habits, happy child" I think I need a "Healthy sleep habits, happy Mom. Incidentally, it's during those sleepless nights that I come up with the best stories for this blog (eloquent descriptions of my feelings when I first saw Gabriel, what it's like to be a Mom, how amazing I think Alejo is as a Dad,...). But then of course when I wake up my brain turns to mush and I wonder how it is exactly that I managed to write a PhD thesis while working full time and going out every other night, when now going out to do groceries seems like the biggest challenge, and my biggest dream is going to bed at 8 PM and sleeping for 12 hours.

Then again, Gabriel is now such a joy when he is in his playful awake time. His smiles, his laughs, his very serious facial expressions as he calmly observes everything, his baby sounds and all his first discoveries outweigh everything else by about a million times. So I try to tone down the "overdramatic" and to appreciate all those little things that make every day with Gabriel the best day of my life.

New photo albums:

Janvier bien au chaud

Playtime with Gabriel

Love, Lys xx

Extrait de mon journal pour Gabriel, racontant les émotions du 20 janvier 2008

2009-02-13T08:42:00.005-05:00

"Positif. J'ai fait un deuxième test le lendemain matin, pour confirmer. Toujours positif. C'est le choc. J'ai tellement d'émotions fortes qui se bousculent que je n'arrive pas à en exprimer une correctement. Positif. J'avais déjà rêvé à ce moment joyeux, à cette preuve de vie si merveilleuse, une preuve simple (du pipi sur un bâton), mais qui a une signification si énorme. Positif. Avec la joie, arrive l'anxiété, la nervosité, le questionnement.Le côté financier, ou va-t-on vivre, va-t'il/elle être en santé, heureux, comment va se passer ma grossesse, vais-je pouvoir faire tous les changements nécessaires, comment va réagir mon entourage, ma famille... et Alejo?!? Positif. Sans rattacher mes culottes, je l'avais déjà appelé et lui avais annoncé la nouvelle sans aucun tact ou préambule. C'est positif. De son étonnement transparait sa joie. Une excitation débordante, la réalisation d'un rêve cher. Pour me rassurer et confirmer sa réaction, ses sentiments, ils m'envoie un petit vidéo de lui, souriant, dépeigné, débalancé, joyeux, nerveux, excité. Il m'aime, je le sais. Je l'aime aussi. Cet enfant ne manquera pas d'amour."

I remember where I was on January 20th, 2008

2009-01-20T20:14:00.003-05:00

Today the whole world was talking about the importance and significance of the inauguration of Obama as a new USA (and some would say world) leader. As an exception since Gabriel started watching the TV instead of his toys, I turned it on in the background. I kept hearing how people wanted to remember "where they were on January 20th 2009". I'm not really sure I'll remember this day, but Alejo and I will always remember this date one year ago. Exactly one year ago, we learned I was pregnant. Exactly one year ago, our whole lives changed forever. I look back at this first entry in my "Gabriel diary". Alejo was living in Halifax then, and I was in Ottawa. We were so overwhelmed, nervous and full of questions, extatic and full of dreams. On this day one year ago, Alejo and I wished we could hug each other to share the moment. We had no idea (as no one ever does I guess) of what the future would bring, but knew we were in for quite a ride. Today, I look at my now-sleeping (Yay!) 4-month-old baby and I again feel this overwhelming joy. Suddenly, all the little stresses of the day seem futile and fade away. Look at where we were then, and look at where we are now. A family. A happy family. I should do this more often, helps me put everything in perspective.
Makes me think about something else that puts a smile on my face, those famous photo albums, for which I haven't been sending links lately. Here it goes:
Gabriel's 4th month
Le temps des fêtes avec Gabriel
and more if you click on my photo gallery.

Well, on this note, Good night,
Lys xx

And the verdict is in

2009-01-03T21:15:00.002-05:00

Well, here's the follow-up. After he fell asleep, I tiptoed around the house, terrified that he might wake up and that I would be faced with the heartbreaking decision of giving up and soothing him back to sleep, or endure more of the crying torture. We usually try to get him used to sleeping with a lot of noise around, so that he doesn't need complete silence to sleep. But that battle would be for another day. I had had enough for one night! What I forgot to mention yesterday is that it was a triple strike in terms of changes. We were trying to establish a sleeping routine by deciding that it was time for bed, trying to teach him to fall asleep alone, and making him sleep in his crib in his own room instead of in his cradle that had always been beside my bed. They say that the first day of school (or of day care) is harder on the parents than on the child. We say the same goes for the first night in a different room than my baby. We had separation anxiety and barely slept. On the other hand, Gabriel slept really well, 10 hours, waking up only once to feed and going back to sleep by himself!!! What an accomplishment!

Today, he slept a lot more during the day. Putting him down for his naps was still a battle though and resulted in two shorter crying episodes. I endured them by keeping busy around the house, which is starting to be cleaner than it's ever been! If the need to sleep at night is obvious, the constantly recurring need to sleep during the day is harder to identify. But if you think about it, I wouldn't let my kid eat Smarties for diner, even if that's what he wanted, and would rather give him what I think he needs, like vegetables. So it now makes sense to me that I need to distinguish between what Gabriel thinks he wants in terms of sleep (i.e. sleeping is for wimps) and what I think he needs when I notice him yawning and rubbing his eyes.

Anyway, I kept the best news for last. Tonight, Gabriel was all smiles. I put him in his bed around 8:00 PM, and let him play with his mobile for a while since he was so awake, waiting for the crying to start. Once the mobile stopped, I heard a little complaint, and then nothing. I didn't dare to wish what anyone would dream of, that he might have fallen asleep. But of course, I had to know. I walked up to his bed, ever so slowly, to look at his angel face. He was sound asleep. I couldn't and still can't believe it. He fell asleep! No crying, no nothing, he fell asleep! I'm still in shock, and about to go celebrate with Alejo. One little battle won, one huge leap for our family!
Bonne Nuit,

Lys xx

I'm home

2009-01-02T22:35:00.000-05:00

and I'm starting a 52 minute soothing massage...

The longest 52 minutes of my life

2009-01-02T22:32:00.000-05:00

Gabriel, who had been sleeping an impressive 8 hours a night from about 2 months of age, decided on his 3 months birthday to stop sleeping well and to wake up several times a night, hourly between 2 to 7 AM. Add to that the activity packed schedule of the holidays, and needless to say the result was a very sleep deprived family. The New Year Party, although very enjoyable for Alejo and I, lead to a final sleepless night, and a total zombie state. Something had to be done.
We had just bought the book "Healthy sleep habits, Happy child", which had been thoroughly recommended by a couple of friends as a bible to establish good sleeping patterns with your child. Seeing as how their kid goes to bed at 7:00 pm and falls asleep alone without fussing, I figured it was worth a try. I started devouring the book. I was very excited when I found a passage describing exactly what we had been going through. I read it about 8 times. The explanation being that some babies mature early and are able to sleep through the night. But as their interactive skills develop, playing with mom and dad (or even watching the wall) starts sounding a lot more interesting than being left alone in a somewhat quiet and boring bed. They start fighting their sleep and become overtired, leading the body to produce adrenaline to compensate. This adrenaline surfaces and makes them wake up frequently, day and night. The solution: encouraging frequent and regular naps during the day, after 2 hours of wakefulness max.

We started this practice yesterday. Gabriel being overtired, he was really fussy and it was a long day of crying. At night we saw some improvement. He still woke up but was easy to put back to sleep. We needed a good night sleep, so I let him nurse frequently and fall asleep in our arms. That was the next problem I was ready to tackle. Teaching him how to fall asleep alone. The technique, develop a before-sleep routine, soothe your baby for a while, and then let him fall asleep alone, i.e. let him cry it out. Although definitely not the only method and not the best for everyone, this is supposedly the one that gives the fastest results, recommended for exhausted parents who crave a rapid solution.

Alejo was gone tonight, helping a friend videotape a wedding celebration. I knew this was the right time to try it out. Although it meant I would not get his comfort throughout this rough trial, it also meant that he wouldn't have to go through the torture of seeing me suffer, on top of listening to Gabriel. I made up my mind. I gave Gabriel his bath, nursed him, talked to him quietly in his bed for about 10 minutes, and then left him alone. At first he was fine, singing to himself and watching his mobile. Then he started complaining. Little screams becoming more and more insisting, and then, full blown crying. I kept busy, putting away Christmas decorations. The first 15 minutes went relatively well. I thought to myself, I can do this, I know it's for the best. Then the crying started wearing me out. My resolution was fading and I started doubting myself. Am I doing the right thing? Is he too young? The book said this was ok, right? The crying became really desperate and he would choke on his saliva every 2 minutes. I crawled in his room (so he wouldn't see me) to make sure he was fine. There were now 2 of us crying, sweating and trembling. It's an instinctive feeling to want to console your baby and denying it is pure torture. How could I do this to him? He was in such a distressed state! I had to keep busy. I was so frazzled, I had to pack, unpack and repack all my decorations several time in order to make them fit. I was past the point of no return. Still unsure whether I was doing the right thing, but convinced that giving in and running to him now would ruin everything. When it comes to child raising, I do believe in being consistent. So I let time pass. The whole 52 minutes of it. Then suddenly, silence. I of course crawled back to his crib to watch him slowly and quietly fall asleep. Finally. I could start breathing again, and try to relax my upper back and jaw muscles that had been completely locked. I sat down and started writing this post. I needed to share. And then I doubted. Should I publish this, or rather wait till tomorrow morning, to see if he slept well? What if he has his worst night ever? What if he wakes up tomorrow and decides he doesn't love me anymore? I will have publicly admitted to committing the worst mistake ever. We'll just have to wait till tomorrow I guess. In the meantime, I need to read a book on "getting moms to fall asleep alone", because I'm still way to tense to think about sleeping!
Thanks for listening,

Lys xx

Gabriel's first Christmas

2008-12-27T20:59:00.002-05:00

Happy holidays! After 3 weeks of his new work at Ottawa University, Alejo is home for a nice 2-week vacation. We are loving and enjoying every second of this (not-so-quiet) family time, especially since Gabriel who is now 3 and a half months old has decided that sleeping is for little babies (see previous posting), and that he is now way above that. Our plan is to cook big meals every day and freeze some, so that we have something good and ready to eat on those days when I don't have time to take a shower before 4 in the afternoon and end up putting shampoo in my hair 3 times in a row cuz I can't remember if I've already done it!

Other fun Holiday events and realisations:

- Taking a picture of the grand-parents holding the baby is a lot harder than taking a picture of the baby alone. And the difficulty level is exponential to the number of people you are trying to group in the picture. The "please look at me or at least lift up your head" requests coming from the photographer can in no way compete with my baby's charming face. Oh well, the older Gabriel may not know what his Grand-parents' faces looked like back then, but he'll sure know they loved him.

- Alejo and I are slowly learning that, at any family event, we are now part of the background. We do get greeted at the door, and then are completely forgotten as the circle tightens around Gabriel's car seat (with him in it of course). Alejo wants to make T-shirts that say "The parents also exits". One of these days we are planning to take advantage of this situation and escape to go to the movies, convinced that no one would even notice we were gone. ;)

- A couple days after Gabriel got sick with a cold, I started noticing a weird smell coming from his face/ear. I later learn that he had a mild ear infection, and it went away a couple days later. Even though my friends, 3 doctors, 2 nurses (et une souris verte) have laughed at me, I'm still convinced that I could smell it. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, please let me know I'm not completely crazy!

- This year I tried to get all my shopping done early, so Gabriel wouldn't have to be exposed to all the holiday madness. One day at TOYS R US, I decided to use the "parenting room" they have, which is a nice little room with a chair, toilet and sink, set up so that you can breastfeed and change your baby's diaper. I was breastfeeding so I left the door slightly open, thinking that I could share it with someone who needed to change a diaper. After a while, an older lady came in, asking me if I knew where the bathroom was. I answered that I only knew of the one on the second floor, but she saw the toilet so she asked me if she could use it because she really had to go... Of course I said sure, and then spent a really uncomfortable 3 minutes trying to look away (there is no wall or curtain between the chair and the toilet), whistling and really hoping that she only had to pee!

Don't miss Gabriel's "3 months old" pictures. Once again, Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année!!
Lys, Alejo & Gabriel xx

Yeux cernés, coeur content

2008-12-17T22:15:00.002-05:00

Finalement, je prends le temps d'écrire quelque chose. Avec Alejo qui est retourné au travail, les moments de la journée ou je peux m'installer tranquillement et écrire (avec mes DEUX mains!) sont comptés, voir inexistants. J'ai maintenant un nouveau respect inégalé pour les femmes au foyer qui réussissent à s'occuper de nombreux enfants, en plus d'avoir une maison toujours propre, de bons repas chauds toujours prêts à l'heure pis une tuque et un foulard de triquotés à la main pour chacun!

Il y a aussi que, depuis qu'il a eu 3 mois (il y a 4 jours), Gabriel a officiellement décidé que, dormir, c'est pour les petits bébés et qu'il est maintenant bien au-dessus de cela, sauf si c'est dans les bras de mamans, d'ou il peut s'assurer que son restaurant préféré est toujours là. Donc bref, je m'en viens de plus en plus zombie et les erreurs du style ranger les choses du congélateur dans l'armoire (et vice-versa) se multiplient. Il faut dire que l'on avait été extrêmement gâtés et que Gabriel a eu quelques semaines ou il faisait des nuits de 8 heures. C'est drôle comment on s'habitue plus vite à ces habitudes qui nous conviennent qu'aux autres. Dommage qu'on ne puisse pas faire des réserves de sommeil! Je me réconforte en me disant que c'est juste une phase probablement due à une poussée de croissance, et que ça va bientôt passer. N'est-ce pas?!?

En revanche, les moments éveillés sont chaque jour plus beaux. Gabriel devient plus indépendent, il aime faire le clown et rire avec ses parents (voir ces nouvelles photos). On a de la difficulté à en détacher les yeux. De mon côté, j'ai recommencé à faire de petites activités pour moi, genre lire un livre autre que ceux sur le développement de l'enfant. Les sorties devront attendre par exemple, jusqu'à temps qu'on réussisse à convaincre Gabriel que le lait de Maman qui sort du biberon est aussi bon que celui qui sort du sein. Jusqu'à date, ça n'a fonctionné qu'une fois, et puis il a décidé qu'il ne voulait plus être pris pour un con. Une tétine en plastique, c'est juste pas pareil!

Au fait, on m'a récemment fait comprendre que la fascination de Gabriel avec le thermostat, qui consiste en un rectangle beige avec une roulette au milieu, est due au fait que les bébés sont instinctivement attirés par les objets rond, similaires aux mamelons. Je te remercie Guy, parce que ben franchement, quand ton fils reste indifférent à tous tes beaux sourires mais qu'il sourit à pleines dents et fait des beaux yeux à son ami le thermostat, c'est un peu insultant!

Sur ce, je vais rejoindre mon lit, les yeux cernés mais le coeur content. Bonne Nuit!

Majeur et vacciné

2008-11-17T20:14:00.004-05:00

Aujourd'hui, Gabriel a reçu ses premiers vaccins. Il a très bien fait ça. D'ailleurs, je crois que ses parents avaient plus le goût de pleurer que lui. Il faut dire que la dernière semaine a été éprouvante pour toute la famille. Gabriel a eu un rhume qui s'est transformé en infection d'oreilles. Les journées ont été longues et les nuits encore plus. Mais nous avons finalement traversé le pire, Gabriel va beaucoup mieux. Le plus difficile pour moi sera de ne pas succomber dans le futur à la peur qu'il attrappe un autre virus. Avec la saison des grippes qui s'annonce, j'ai le goût de l'enfermer dans une bulle et de le laisser sortir... lorsqu'il aura 16 ans. De toute façon, je n'ai pas envie de le laisser traverser la rue seul avant qu'il soit majeur. ;) Je réalise que je suis devenue 1000 fois plus peureuse qu'avant. Penser à tout le négatif qui pourrait lui arriver me paralyse parfois. Je pense à tout ce que j'ai fait dans ma vie et je suis contente que mes parents n'aient pas toujours su ce que je faisais. Durant mes récentes aventures, je n'avais pas peur de grand chose. Mais ça, c'était dans ma vie antérieure. Ma vie avant d'être responsable d'un autre être humain. De son bien-être, de son confort et de son bonheur. Mais bon, si je ne veux pas qu'il se ramasse sur la chaise d'un psychologue dans quelques années, à raconter comment il a toujours été surprotégé par sa mère étouffante, je vais bien devoir apprendre à surmonter la peur. À accepter que je ne pourrai pas le protéger de tout, mais que je dois plutôt lui donner une bonne base de confiance en soi pour qu'il puisse lui même affronter ces obstacles et être exposé à plein d'expériences enrichissantes. En attendant, je me réjouis de savoir qu'il est bien et en santé. Vous pouvez vous-même le constater en regardant ces albums de photos:
Gabriel, 2ième mois
La visite de Gabriel
Promenades d'automne
Et pour ceux qui n'ont pas encore vu le vidéo du changement d'heure, le voici
It's hard to wake up

Avec amour,
Lys xx

Être Maman, ça change une vie!

2008-11-14T16:50:00.001-05:00

Et oui, déjà 2 mois. Ces dernières semaines ont été remplies de changements. Gabriel sourit plus souvent, se tient plus droit et est plus éveillé (remarquez qu'il n'est pas encore vraiment interessé à interagir avec nous, préférant encore converser avec ses bons amis Oreiller, Lampe et Mur blanc). Nous avons commencé à utiliser des couches de coton. Quand j'en entendais parler il y a quelques années, je trouvais l'idée franchement dégoutante. Qui a le goût de passer son temps à laver du caca? Mais ensuite tu y penses. Côté écologique, une couche jetable prend 500 ans à se dégrader. Côté monétaire, ça finit par coûter cher les sacs de Huggies! Côté santé, pour rendre les couches jetables autant super-méga-absorbantes, la liste de produits chimiques qu'elles contiennent et qui sont en contact avec la peau 24 heures sur 24 ne finit plus, et il y a des liens avec l'infertilité et les allergies. Bref, les arguments sont convaincant. Et puis finalement, ce n'est pas si compliqué que ça. Côté esthétique, disons que ça leur donne un gros derrière, mais je me dis que ça absorbe les chocs! Je suis donc entrée dans le club des Mamans Cool. Parce qu'il faut le dire, être une bonne Maman informée, conscientisée, bio le plus possible, au bébé parfait et qui suit toutes les recommandations, c'est devenu un culte, une mode. Ça pleut les ateliers et les cercles de discussion ou l'on parle de l'importance de l'allaitement (preaching to the choir comme on dit), des couches de cotons, du lavage au savon biodégradable, du plastique sans BPA et des bouteilles de vitre, du portage (porter le bébé contre toi à l'aide d'une écharpe), de l'homéopathie et massages pour bébé, d'aérobie, cardio, et yoga maman-bébé, des purées et céréales organiques, alouettes! Comprenez bien que la plupart de ces sujets touchent mes valeurs et m'intéressent et que je me suis inscrite à la grande majorité de ces cours et ateliers. C'est juste que je me sens comme au secondaire. Il y a une pression pour faire partie de la gang des cools, de l'élite, un certain snobisme. On juge et on compare. On compare les styles d'éducation, mais aussi les capacité du bébé, le poids, la grandeur (étonnement, contrairement à ses deux parents, Gabriel se maintient dans la moyenne), la motricité, les cycles d'éveils,... Et je sens que ça ne fait que commencer. Mais bon, on s'adapte et on apprécie nos petites victoires. Pour ceux qui n'ont pas élevé un enfant dans les 10 dernières années, disons qu'on est loin du poupon qui s'endormait sous sa couverte (aujourd'hui, c'est des genre de sleeping bag), couché sur le ventre, avec une suce dans la bouche, après s'être gavé de lait en formule dans une bouteille en plastique! Mais en considérant que les taux de mort subite du nouveau-né ont grandement diminué depuis que ces nouvelles recommandations ont été instaurées, on apprécie beaucoup la vague du changement.

happy two months Gabriel...

2008-11-13T17:06:00.007-05:00

I've been to many places, met many people, been engaged in all kinds of projects and activities: TV production, live broadcasting, communications, journalism, international development, social activism, basically anything that meant change... Two months ago Gabriel was born and he's definitely changed my life. Our lives!
Thank you Gabriel for changing it all!

I can't seem to remember how it was before Gabriel. But now, it's all starting to make sense...

Things you discover as new parents, Part 2

2008-11-01T09:33:00.007-04:00

- Many books tell me that infants love to follow a routine. Well, my child has obviously never read those books because his schedule still changes every day! Now granted, that may be because his parents are useless at maintaining a schedule and shiver at the word "routine", but we're all working on it.

- Bringing your baby to see anyone, doctor, lactation specialist, etc., is like bringing a car that makes a noise every time you start it except of course when there is a mechanic present to the garage... Makes you look like a liar.

- The best way to wake up a sleeping baby is to put him in his bed. Instant wake up call. Gabriel however finds all big and noisy crowds to be just as efficient as a sleeping pill.

- We have recently entered the "cholics" era, and can therefore spend hours trying to comfort our baby with a lot of different techniques and danses, going from the cha-cha (and joropo) to the waltz. Music helps a lot (at least to give us a little bit of rhythm), going from Zachary Richard to Leonard Cohen and Buena vista social club. He usually loves to be comforted and to be held, resting his belly on your arm. But other times, after trying everything unsuccessfully, you put him in his crib for 10 seconds to relax your arms, and he stops crying immediately, fascinated by the sight of the blank wall... which makes the parents feel quite inadequate and plain useless.

- Although I know it is asked with all the best intentions, I don't like the question "Is he a good baby?". What kind of mother would I be if I said NO?!? Like anyone, he has good and bad moments, but overall he's perfect, no need to exchange him, we'll keep him thank you!

- There are 2 schools of thoughts on letting a baby cry and on putting him to sleep. The oldest one says that, to put a child to sleep, you have to let him cry a little, and that when he is going through a crisis, you have to let him cry it out. That way he learns that crying is useless and that nothing bad happened, and he'll eventually put himself to sleep and be more independent. The other philosophy who is usually preached by other new mothers who are reading the same baby behavior books as me says that "you can't spoil a newborn child", and that up until at least 6 months of age, you should respond to your baby's needs, even if what he wants only is comfort and help falling asleep. A baby who learns that his needs will be fulfilled when he expresses them becomes more self confident. Although we tend to lean more towards this second approach, we're still kind of torn a lot of times, so I guess our child will be half-independent and half-self confident.

Hasta la proxima,

Lys, Alejo & Gabriel xx

pasado, presente o futuro...

2008-10-22T16:23:00.011-04:00

No se si escribir en pasado sobre lo que paso ayer, o en presente sobre lo que estamos viviendo hoy, o en futuro sobre lo que queremos hacer esta tarde. La idea de este blog es tener un espacio para compartir con familia y amigos dispersos por el mundo, y que Gabriel pueda -cuando le interese- leer sobre como eran los días en que el nació. Quienes eran/son sus papas, que hacían, que pensaban, donde vivían... Ese tipo de preguntas a uno sólo le interesan cuando le interesan. Cuando y por que pasa eso?

Ademas del nacimiento de Gabriel, que mas pasó el 13 de Septiembre del 2008? Me hubiera gustado guardar el periódico de ese día.

Gabriel cumple seis semanas este sábado y sus papas siguen felices aprendiendo cosas cada día.

Un minuto y cuarenta segundos con Gabriel:

Things you discover as a new parent (Part 1 of 9999999999)

2008-10-13T21:32:00.001-04:00

Here are a few of the things we've come to realize as newcomers to the world of child raising.

- My first bone to pick is with all those Child raising books who make you feel so inadequate when your experience is not going just like it "should". I resent them claiming that, by the second week, you should be able to understand your baby and know exactly what each of his different crying fits mean. Alejo and I are still clueless half the time. But most importantly, I resent all books that say that "if breastfeeding hurts at first, you are doing it wrong". FALSE!! I am sorry, but when a starving infant starts sucking with all his might on your "virgin" nipples, it hurts! Same thing for when your milk comes in and your breasts triple in size. Of course, you get used to it after a while, but maybe all those sleepless nights spent feeling like an incompetent mother, like I was doing something wrong, could have been avoided!

- Maternal instinct is a very primitive feeling. The urge to bark at (and then bite) all strangers who try to approach your child is overwhelming (my apologies by the way). I guess I won't be able to protect him from everything, so I better get used to it!

- With breastfeeding every 2 to 3 hours, burping and changing, there is very little time left for things such as eating and sleeping (let alone such leisurely activities as taking a shower!). I've been told that I eat like a new mom, without chewing. Last one to start and first one to finish.

- Whenever you think it's time to change him because you've heard the explosion in the diaper, wait an extra 15 minutes. Even then though, nothing feels as good as peeing and pooing when you're not stuck in the confines of a tight diaper! Let's just say that our change table has been washed many, many times.

- Whenever we go out or have visitors, Gabriel will be sleeping soundly. There is no waking him up, no matter how loud it gets or how many people poke at him. Lots of friends and family haven't been able to see his eyes yet. But it takes about 28 seconds once they're gone for him to be wide awake. I am thinking of making "visiting hours" from 1 am to 6 am, so the new parents can finally get some sleep!

- Speaking of sleep, whoever invented the phrase "to sleep like a baby" obviously had never had a child. They grunt, snort, moan, twist and turn like if they were possessed, leading the new parents to check up on them about 68 times each night. Of course, that too you get used to.

Well, those are just a few of our observations. Hopefully this will ring true to other new parents out there!
Take Care,

Lys, Alejo & Gabriel xx

1 mois déjà

2008-10-13T20:36:00.000-04:00

Ca fait aujourd'hui 1 mois que je suis Maman. Déjà 1 mois depuis le début de notre nouvelle vie. Cette vie avec un nouveau focus, où on passe en deuxième plan avec la plus grande joie pour se concentrer sur quelqu'un d'autre de plus précieux. On en savoure chaque moment... quand on est assez réveillés pour y penser. Aucun livre n'aurait pu nous préparer à vivre cette nouvelle responsabilité, ceux qui ont déjà des enfants le savent bien, mais la récompense n'a bien sûr pas de prix. Un sourire, ou plutôt une grimace de Gabrie,l et on oublie tout le reste. Parlant de grimace, en tant que bons nouveaux parents fascinés par la frimousse de leur petit, on a bien sûr pris à peu près 8000 nouvelles photos. Pour vous épargner un peu j'en ai fait une sélection que j'ai mis dans quelques albums (ça fait 1 mois quand même!) que voici:

Gabriel Tout Nouveau
Les 1001 grimaces de Gabriel
Gabriel et son Fanclub

Je vous laisse là-dessus,
Avec amour,

Lys, Alejo et Gabriel xx